Children inside cross go out especially honest how to do

What's your child like? Is it one of those two-faced, "suck it up and go out" types? Darling "two-faced" how to treat? The following parents do a good job in time to correct the 4 points. Two days ago, a friend, teasing and asking for help in the group: Yesterday, just entered the house after work, I heard my son crying loudly: "I don't eat! I want ice cream!" The parents-in-law coaxed him with a kind of pleasing tone: "Shuo Shuo lovely, let's eat dinner, then eat ice cream? You grow strong by eating." "No! I won't! I want ice cream first!" The baby angrily picked up a stuffed animal to hit the grandmother. "What are you doing? How do you throw something at grandma? !" Shuo heard my voice, and immediately became silent. "Oh, why are you talking so loud? You're scaring the child." The mother-in-law complained a little, went to pick up the child. The mother-in-law this embrace can be good, Shuo Shuo felt found a "backer", "wow" to cry, crying while kicking off, as if he had been wronged by the world. Such a thing more than once, a little unpleasing place, he was angry with the elders, especially like to "bully" love his grandparents. But outside the house, he's like a different kid. In the community, he would never play with other children. If a child took a toy from him, he would not dare to come back. He would just stare at it, and sometimes when wronged, he would start to ask adults for help... You say, my child has become a "two-faced", at home "red Wolf", "little sheep", how to do this? A friend said: separated generation close, accustomed! Also HAVE TO say: IS always curricular at ordinary times at home, little contact with children? There are expressions: the home has the same doll! The same worry... Believe, in life, many mothers also encountered the same trouble: the baby at home, outside completely two! In the outside from dare not fight, bullied also dare not say, no problem a "doormat", but at home "bully party". For children's "cowardly, cowardly" behavior, many parents said puzzled, headache! As the saying goes: there are no two identical leaves in the world. There are many children who are "cowardly and cowardly", and the reason behind it can not be explained by the two words "habituated". How can children become "wounliheng"? Why the contrast? What should parents do in the face of such troubles? Next kangaroo hemp and you learn together. 1. What are the reasons for "leaving the house"? 1, sensitive sense of boundary baby is born with a "sense of boundary" and strong regional awareness. Babies feel safe, relaxed, and loved when they are with people they know well, or in a familiar environment (like home)! In this way, you will act casually and boldly, and release your emotions without any concern! Once in a strange environment, in the face of strange people and things, need a process of adaptation, children will be very careful, more timid, formal. In fact, not only children, adults are also like this, who will be in a completely unfamiliar environment and in front of people, unbridled "indulge" themselves? However, parents need to pay attention if they find that their children are becoming more nervous, sensitive, or even resistant to the new environment than is reasonable. 2, intergenerational relatives, elders unconditionally "spoil" nowadays, many young parents because of work reasons, children are given to the elderly. And one of the common problems of intergenerational parenting is that the young and the old sometimes have different parenting concepts. The elders will spoil their children relatively: when they cook vegetables, the children will eat chicken wings, and the grandmother will not be too tired to meet the baby's needs; Shopping malls to see toys, no matter whether there is the same at home, no matter after buying can be fresh for a few minutes, as long as the grandson is happy, grandpa said to buy; The child lost his temper and hit his grandmother. The mother just wanted to educate her, but the grandmother stepped forward to stop him: he is still a child...... He's a kid? What does a child know? Don't forget that there is a word called "small", do not think that children do not understand what little, they are very good at reading! The reason a child dares to "cross the line" over and over again is because he knows that his grandparents will protect him and that if he cries and rolls around, they will compromise. 3, parents are "wounliheng" "role model" some people, always put the "bad mood" to the most pro people. Foreigners welcome smiling face, polite, warm hearted, but the daughter-in-law/husband or parents come to the phone, always a face of impatience, talk without a good tone, put down the phone, it is "spring breeze genial", completely different...... Someone once said: parents' attitude and behavior, hidden children's future. Indeed, if the adult is constantly "playing the dog", yelling at the family and showing no respect, the child will imitate this behavior: restrain their emotions outside and act recklessly at home. 4, lack of social some children, may not often take the family out to play, always stay at home, side come and go so few people. And the family is obedient to the child, holding a "little emperor", "little princess", as time goes by, the child will develop a self-centered personality. When the child goes out in a strange environment, found that others are no longer centered on him, no longer in accordance with his will to: at home to hit adults have nothing to do, hit children outside, people will hit back; He has all the things in the house to himself, the same car in the playground will also be "robbed"; Want to play with other kids, but don't know how to fit in... This kind of change makes the child feel afraid, anxious and wronged. When the child returns home, it is easy for him to give feedback to his family because he has nowhere to vent his bad feelings. 2. How to guide the children who are "cowardly"? There are no born "bad" children! The "cowardly, cowardly" baby is not born! As a parent, we should accompany our children to grow up together, pay attention to their psychological changes in time, and guide them correctly! 1. Don't label children easily. As mentioned above, it is normal for children to be cautious and timid when facing strange people in a strange environment. And the child age is small, sometimes cannot achieve correct understanding and deal with their emotions! They may express their needs by simply Shouting and crying! But sometimes when some parents chat with others, they often say: my children, ah, will be hostile, not cry or make trouble, outside the courage is very small, do not dare to play with children. Little do they know, parents say so, may give children a strong psychological hint! The child may follow this "label" forever! As parents, they should pay attention to their children's changes in time, understand their children's inner needs, actively guide their children to improve improper behavior, encourage their children to make new friends bravely, rather than forcefully label their children with a "label" but do nothing! When the baby is crying and unhappy, the mother can squat down and hold the baby and say: "Mom knows you are not happy now, can you tell mom what the reason is?" If the child can't say it, feel free to ask: "You are angry because of XXX, right?" We may not have guessed correctly, but the child's mood will be relieved and he will be able to talk about what he is angry about, which will help solve the problem and teach him how to manage his emotions. Children are born to imitate, mothers can usually guide their children with the help of picture books, through lovely cartoon images and vivid stories to tell them, quickly understand and accept. 2, love your son, remember the French educator Rousseau once said: do you know how to use what method, can make your child become an unfortunate person? The idea is to be obedient to him. We can't deny the old people's love for their children, but we should let those who spoil their children understand this truth: spoil is not true love, family education should be less obedient, more teaching. For the unreasonable requirements of the child, must firmly say "no", not to always feel that the child is small, not sensible, what all for him, what consequences do not need to bear! You know, if you don't teach your child, someone will teach him "hard" for you. Other parents have a good cop and a bad cop when it comes to parenting! Parents' educational concept is not unified, but also easy to let children "watch people under the dish"! The child knows which family member is "easy to bully", and will "play it up" in front of them! In a word, love children, do not overreach, parents to educate children to "united front". 3, parents set an example when one of the parents is a "cowardly", children in such an environment for a long time, is bound to be affected, get "true", also grow up to have "two faces". Dong Qing once said, "The easiest way to determine who you want your child to be is to be who you are." So parents should set an example, be a good example, both to outsiders and family, respect and friendly, do not always leave the greatest tolerance to outsiders, but the worst temper to family! A loving and warm family will bring more positive energy to children. 4, to provide more opportunities for children to contact with the outside world in life, sometimes we will notice that some children rarely go downstairs to play, occasionally come out to play, will stand far beside, dare not greet other children. Don't let children become the flowers in the greenhouse, we should provide more opportunities for children to contact with the outside world, often take children out and peers to communicate. If you encounter small conflicts, you can first try to let the children solve their own, patience to cultivate children's social skills. As parents, encourage your children to "You can do it", "you are great", etc. They will be guided and encouraged by you to "take a step forward" and become better and better.